Osman Gazi
Relationships of all kinds can have their moments. So what makes dating disappointments so much harder to accept? I think it’s because dating feels much more personal. When your friend disappoints you, you get mad. Maybe you even complain about your friend to your other friends. If it’s a friendship with history, you certainly don’t worry that you will never find another friend, because you know that whatever it was that lead to the disappointment is most likely a temporary thing. Not so with dating. Dating disappointments are in a category all their own, which is why we sometimes feel that our lack of success is somehow tied to our self worth, even if intellectually we know this to be false. So how do you get past the disappointment? How do you detach from the outcome to reframe the failures as opportunities in disguise? How do you overcome the sadness that naturally comes when things don’t work out as you hoped? The answer lies in knowing that there is no magic bullet for overcoming emotional pain. That’s right; I am not going to lie to you. I will tell you that I have had my share of disappointments. Sometimes just knowing that someone has been where you’ve been or are and got through it can help. I will also share that it is okay to give yourself some time to wallow. The key is not wallowing for too long, a week or two is okay. Then try a new approach, because continuously dating the same way and expecting to get a different result will only lead to more disappointment. Relationships of all kinds can have their moments. So what makes dating disappointments so much harder to accept? I think it’s because dating feels much more personal. When your friend disappoints you, you get mad. Maybe you even complain about your friend to your other friends. If it’s a friendship with history, you certainly don’t worry that you will never find another friend, because you know that whatever it was that lead to the disappointment is most likely a temporary thing. Not so with dating. Dating disappointments are in a category all their own, which is why we sometimes feel that our lack of success is somehow tied to our self worth, even if intellectually we know this to be false. So how do you get past the disappointment? How do you detach from the outcome to reframe the failures as opportunities in disguise? How do you overcome the sadness that naturally comes when things don’t work out as you hoped? The answer lies in knowing that there is no magic bullet for overcoming emotional pain. That’s right; I am not going to lie to you. I will tell you that I have had my share of disappointments. Sometimes just knowing that someone has been where you’ve been or are and got through it can help. I will also share that it is okay to give yourself some time to wallow. The key is not wallowing for too long, a week or two is okay. Then try a new approach, because continuously dating the same way and expecting to get a different result will only lead to more disappointment.